LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP COACH

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Theresa Fearon, Life and Relationship Coach

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Relationship Rules

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5 Tips to Eliminate Negativity

Posted on 9 October, 2017 at 8:45

Negativity can really affect your life. It can lead to depression, cause health issues, and destroy your connections with others. Here are a few tips to help you eliminate the negativity in your life.

1. First, figure out what is triggering the negativity. Before you can eliminate it, you have to identify it. You will probably find that much of your negativity comes from those self-tapes you play in your head. You need to find ways to change those tapes from negative to positive. One way of doing this is using affirmations. Just make sure the affirmations are very specifically tied to the actual negative thoughts.

This is where a lot of people go wrong with affirmations. They use general ones that really are not relevant to their own issues. This is like general praise, it works some of the time, but can be overdone. Try to stick as close to the negative tape as possible, and only change the negative to a positive.

2. Meditation and yoga are both great ways to cut down on the negativity in your life. Both focus on using breathing exercises to replenish your body. Yoga also helps with developing flexibility and strength in your body. Meditation mainly focuses on mind, but can really help you change how you think about things, especially if you combine this with the affirmations.

3. Smiling more can help, too, and is a simple way to help eliminate negativity. Studies have shown that you can even sense when talking on the phone to someone that they are smiling. Smiling is contagious and can not only help you feel more positive, but help those around you, as well.

4. Have you ever noticed that when you are in a good mood, and you talk with that one person who is always negative, it brings your mood down? Focus on people in your life who are positive. As much as possible, get rid of, or limit contact with negative people. Sometimes you can ot completely do this, especially if they are family, but try to limit as much as you can.

5. Playing the victim keeps you in a negative mindset. By taking control of your life and your choices, you can eliminate a lot of the negativity. No matter how much it seems everything is out of your control, you do have choices. Even if you have disabilities, or health conditions, you can find ways to work around them to accomplish what you want to do.

Can an affair ever become a healthy relationship?

Posted on 19 September, 2017 at 4:40

I met up with a friend for lunch last week, and we got on the subject of horror films.  She mentioned a film (I won't share that), and told me that was the worst/scariest/most gruesome film she'd ever seen.  She actually warned me not to watch it.  Ever.

On Sunday, when I was giving the bedroom a good old spring clean, I decided to check it out on Netflix (don't judge me).  After all, my friend is not me.  I'm no prude and I'm no wimp either.  I'm a grown up - over 50 and I'm perfectly capable of deciding what I can/can't watch.  I make my own choices.  And if I really don't like it - there's that magical contraption called a remote.  I can simply switch it off.

So, I put the film on whilst struggling to fit the duvet in its cover (what's the best way without having to go all the way in myself?) and watched as the gist of the story unfolded.  Suffice to say, my friend was right to warn me.  I ended up scrambling for the remote to switch it off, and I don't often feel compelled to judge a group of people straight off like that, but I'm sorry, there were some twisted and extremely dark minds at play there......

Even though I didn't even come close to watching the whole film, what I did see has stayed with me.

Even though I had been warned by someone who had had that experience, I chose to ignore "advice" for my own experience.

I have lost a little bit of me, since watching 30 mins of a film.  But it's only me (and I can heal myself with Reiki)

Research has it that only 10% of affairs last even a month, and the rest last, at most, a year or two. Very few extramarital affairs last longer than three or four years. (Dr Tammy Nelson).  So you do the maths.  Even the Jolie-Pitts, with all their trappings only lasted 9 years in toll, and a couple of years as a married couple.  The "advice" about affairs is out there.  And yet, 1 person in every 3 couples (average statistic) will take that chance, will get caught up in the "fairytale, soulmate, can't live without you" dream and wake up in the "guilt, hurt, shame" nightmare.

And they will lose a little bit of themselves.  But it won't just be them left with the pain.

And it will stay with you. And others.

And you will end up asking yourself repeatedly why you didn't listen.  


Happy New Year

Posted on 6 September, 2017 at 9:20

Happy New Year to you all, and I hope that you achieve all your dreams/goals/aspirations in the coming year…..

No, I am not mad (although there are a few out there that will claim otherwise). And come January 1st 2018 – when you are making your resolutions, setting your 12 month plan, I will be a quarter way into mine.

You see, today, 6 September 2017, my son went back to school. This is his New Year, a year where he has to achieve his goals before embarking on this GCSE’s next year. He went back to a new school year, with a new uniform, new school equipment, new outlook. Another school year where he can make a difference. And so, courtesy of a client, I have now adopted this idea and I’m making this my New Year too.

And under the watchful gaze of the September Full Moon, I will write up my goals and my wish list. I will thank the Universe for bringing me through the last year, with all it’s highs and lows and I will ask the Universe to help me embrace, gratefully, every day moving forward.

Happy New Year – I’ll drink to that!


 

 

RELATIONSHIP RULE - THE KEY TO GREAT SEX IS COMMUNICATION

Posted on 4 September, 2017 at 10:30

Anybody can have good sex. Most of us have had bad sex!  But great sex?  Especially when you've been with your partner for years?

The answer is yes.  You can upgrade your sex life immediately and easily because there's no secret or trick to it.  Simply put, the key to having great sex with your partner is ..... great communication. Yes, it's that easy.  And good communication includes positive speech - not negative criticism.


To find out more about improving your sex life, please contact me.


Sssh.. This is a little delicate.....

Posted on 4 September, 2017 at 10:00

How can I put this?


If you're in an exclusive, one-one-one relationship, there's no need for a third person.  It may seem sexy/exciting/grown-up/fun, but trust me, it nearly always ends in tears.  This is one temptation that you should leave alone, unless you are prepared to lose everything.

And if your partner says they will leave you if you don't comply.......Wave them goodbye!




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